Transitions

Obviously I've not been spending a lot of time with my site or blog lately, and a big piece of why is because I have a new "9 to 5" that carries with it a steep learning curve and a ton of new responsibility. It's exciting, it's terrifying, and it's been the start of a giant transition in my life.

I'm the manager of fundraising and events for a midsize nonprofit organization, and I called it a 9 to 5 with my tongue firmly in cheek, as it very rarely is. But it's flexible and fun, and the beauty of it is that I get to form relationships with folks from vastly different circumstances.

With the new job came along a completely separate possibility that I hadn't allowed myself to previously consider: the opportunity to become a mother. I've wanted to be one for some time, but never felt secure enough in my income, benefits, relationship, or job structure to be able to support it. And so here we are, able to be able to swing all of that (perhaps a little tightly, but nonetheless mostly comfortably). And the planning begins (while recognizing that so much of this transition can not be planned).

I read What to Expect Before You're Expecting. I watched "The Business of Being Born" and read the companion Your Best Birth. I'm reading Body, Soul, and Baby and countless mommy blogs and articles about healthy and natural pregnancy and birth. I track my cycle religiously, along with my BMT. Gave up caffeine and alcohol, picked up prenatal vitamins. Riding my bike more, paying a little more attention to the food I eat. And I'm not actually pregnant yet; in fact, we're not going to start trying in earnest for another 2 months.

All of this info is deeply personal and it all is to make a point: when we come to periods of great transition in our lives, how often do we stop to consider how these changes effect our spirit? In the whirlwind and the chaos of change, do we get swept away in the tide, shaking our heads months later, wondering how in the hell we got here? Or did we get the chance to check in, explore how these changes are making us feel; even the not-so-pretty emotions that hide deep inside?

In our culture, I don't think we do; at least not enough. In my example of becoming a mother, we don't always acknowledge (publicly) the transition a woman makes from the  "maiden" to the "mother" and all of the shifts that come along with it. Yes, we have baby showers, and ooo and ahh over little baby clothes and booties... but those celebrations are all about the baby. The most the mother gets is some jokes about how she'll never sleep again or comments about how she'll want that epidural once the labor really starts. If she's lucky, some understanding friend or relative will throw in some bath salts and lotion with a note to remember to take care of herself, too.

A woman preparing for birth and the subsequent years as a mother is not always given a public or official space to consider the emotional, physical, and spiritual changes she endures. She may be so excited and caught up in the tide of delirium that she may not for a long time, if ever, really. Or she may feel so consumed by fear or anxiety that to even give attention to the feelings can seem overwhelming. And I suspect for many women, the reality is somewhere in between.

The Dine' people celebrate a series of ceremony called Blessingways, that celebrate the transitions in life. I can not speak to much about the actual ceremonies, because I am not Dine'. I know that the term "Blessingway" has been culturally appropriated by (mostly white,  middle-to-upper class) non-Dine' women to describe rituals of blessing a woman transitioning to mother. I will not do that, but in ignorance, I assume most of these women are trying to place a name on something that doesn't exist in our culture; trying to make sense of this transition in a way that feels meaningful and right to them. (Note: The fact that it is done without realizing how offensive it can be doesn't make it any less offensive, and quite honestly, it almost makes it worse. Cultural appropriation in mother blessing has been covered in better, more eloquent ways than I can articulate, so I suggest to anyone interested that you simply Google "Blessingway cultural appropriation" and you'll see some great points.) But the coming together to make a space for the joys, fears, excitement, and even sadness of a transitioning woman is powerful.

When I was in college, I remember reading about some groups of women who celebrated the menarche of their daughters, the beginning of menopause in themselves. Together in community as women, they marked the biological, physical, and energetic change. Maybe many of us long for those communities, or a place where we are free to celebrate and mourn and heal before undertaking a new phase in our lives.

Reiki is universal life energy. As it flows, it carries with it the experience of all who came before, with their infinite wisdom; with their infinite love and guidance and support. In a Reiki session, you can allow yourself to feel that support and love, the healing light is always within you and amplified with a treatment. It's a beautiful way to mark transition in your life, or to add to celebration or ceremony. I look forward to marking your changes with you.

Cost vs. Investment

I'll admit it: I've traditionally had difficulty with money. It makes me uncomfortable, because I feel a constant battle. I am bombarded by feelings of lack, but I recognize how fortunate I am to have always had what I need. I've been strapped for cash, perhaps not being able to pay every bill, but I have never been truly hungry, homeless, or in poverty. When you consider our cultural preoccupation with money, wealth, gain, and competition, it's no wonder that we lose sight of what wealth truly is.

Along with this feeling of lack, I've found myself lost in cycles of frugality (alright, downright stinginess) and overindulgence. I will spend exorbitant amounts on things I don't need but want desperately, and later (or immediately) suffer with guilt and buyer's remorse. Conversely, I will deny myself purchases because they're "too expensive," and go without things or services that are worth the investment for my own or others' well-being. This cycle serves no one, and mostly hurts myself.

I've come to understand that money is energy-- like any other energy that flows in ebbs and tides, it can be balanced or not. Energy exchanges are necessary events in our lives, and financial energy is not "the root of all evil" or the "key to happiness," but rather a physical and spiritual matter of reality.

But if Reiki is a Universal Life Energy that is available to all living beings, why do practitioners charge money for their services? Why can't healings, attunements, and all feel-good Reiki vibes just be free?

One story has it that the founder of Reiki, Master Mikao Usui, having discovered this new and extraordinary method of healing, opened a free hospital to help as many people as possible. People came from all around to seek his services, and immediately felt better after seeing him. Everything was going great... until it wasn't. The same folks kept returning, with the same complaints they had before their first treatment.

Master Usui was perplexed. How could this be happening? The people immediately felt better after receiving Reiki... they told him this everyday, and he saw it himself. But the problems were not solved. It was then that Master Usui realized that since he was offering his services for free, there was no investment from his patients. Because the treatments cost the patients nothing, the patients saw no motivation to change the patterns that had thrown their chakras and energy out of whack in the first place; because they could just return for another treatment when they needed it. Reiki is a tool toward relaxation and healing, but it is not the cure. For true transformation to arise from Reiki, energy must be exchanged; a give-and-take, if you will; to make the healing long-lasting. We humans are, at least a bit (or a lot a bit), externally motivated. Pay in, pay out.

The world's spiritual traditions recognize this. Right now, Christians are in the season of Lent, where many make sacrifices in recognition of the sacrifice of the Christ. Next week, Jews will begin Passover, the celebration of the Israelites' freedom from Egyptian slavery; and even within that celebration of freedom is the memory of sacrifice, and the giving up of leavened grain. Pagans of new and old times often make sacrifices to Gods and ancestors in hopes their prayers are answered. Sacrifice is a theme everywhere, as if to say, "Look, I'll give this up in exchange for that, because it is that important to me."

Paying for Reiki services is like that. But it is not to say that money is the only right way to "pay" for Reiki. An exchange of some sort of energy will sometimes work. Bartering for goods or services, when finances do not allow, can be arranged. In some instances, an agreement to "pay it forward" in some act of kindness or goodness to another, is acceptable, when made with pure intent. Just remember, it is the exchange, the sacrifice, that makes the healing "stick." It is not the miracle cure; it is the tool that facilitates true healing.

I can not fix you, but I can help you fix yourself. Reiki can not fix you, but it can be the tool to open your blockages that keep you from being the best, healthiest, you that you can be. Let me show you how!

With love and light,
Jess

Spiraling Toward Gratitude

(Image from pinterest.com)

When I first wanted to learn more about Reiki, I did what any 21st-century spiritual seeker would do: I turned to Google. I came across a YouTube video that claimed to teach anyone Reiki in 10 minutes. Though I knew that wasn't quite true (Reiki is a practice that has to be passed person-to-person through an attunement process), I decided to give this video a listen. The basic gist was that Reiki is based in Love (yes, with a capital L), and that an essential tenant of Love is gratitude. If you are truly present to gratitude, Reiki energy flows naturally. Being grateful for what you have, life's experiences, each breath, and each moment, opens your heart to Love; and that Love opens your body and spirit to healing.

Usui Reiki (pronounced "ooo-soo-eee ray-kee") utilizes the universal "life force energy" to promote relaxation and facilitate healing. Though it is not as purely simple as feeling gratitude and placing one's hands on another's body to transmit energy, the idea of sincere gratitude for effective Reiki certainly does resonate. Reiki treatments help to release blockages that prevent us from seeing and feeling the beauty in our lives.

Many spiritual leaders of different religions and cultures have noted that we receive more when we are grateful for what we already have. In our culture, it is normal to be stressed; it's our default setting. We are so often focused on what is going "wrong"... we get stuck in a mindset of lack, and we never feel like we have enough. There's never enough money, there's never enough time, and we, ourselves, are never enough.  

It's easy to be grateful when things are going well, isn't it? When the sun is shining and the birds are singing, your belly is full and you're surrounded by friends, Love is apparent and abundant. We are allowed the space to recognize all our gifts, large and small, because we aren't blinded by our perceived troubles.

But in those darker hours, what is left for gratitude? When things are bleakest, and stress or grief consume our being, is it enough to be grateful that you awoke another day, and there is breath in your lungs? At times, it sure doesn't feel like it. By connecting with Reiki, we are reminded that being alive and breathing set the foundation for our unlimited potential, and the Universe will provide the Love that brings us through to the light. And for that, we can be ever thankful.

Gratitude doesn't always have to be so profound. In fact, it usually isn't. Sometimes it's the smile from the cashier as he handed us our change. It's the warmth on our hands from a cup of tea. An old friend started a nonprofit dedicated to this idea, and I strongly suggest you check it out: The Look for the Good Project "changes attitudes with gratitude to bring meaning and purpose to people's lives." Isn't that a great idea? Just look for the good. Simple.

It's simple, but it's a practice. Some days are harder than others, but there is always something good to be seen. One small way to start integrating gratitude into your life is to end each day by reviewing (at least) 5 things that you were grateful for that day. You can make a mental note of each, but I suggest you place more energy behind your practice by reciting them out loud to yourself or your partner (possibly encouraging them to be grateful as well!). You can also help cement your practice by keeping a journal. I've heard of others creating a Gratitude Jar, placing a small piece of paper into a jar with each day's gratitude so that they have a physical representation of all their blessings. Whatever works for you, make it something that you do often enough to transform your habitual attitude, so that your default setting is one of gratitude. You will open to more things to be grateful for, more blessings, and more Love.   

For more information about how Reiki can help you spiral further into gratitude, contact me at Healing Spiral Reiki.

Blessed Be and Namaste!
Jess