Obviously I've not been spending a lot of time with my site or blog lately, and a big piece of why is because I have a new "9 to 5" that carries with it a steep learning curve and a ton of new responsibility. It's exciting, it's terrifying, and it's been the start of a giant transition in my life.
I'm the manager of fundraising and events for a midsize nonprofit organization, and I called it a 9 to 5 with my tongue firmly in cheek, as it very rarely is. But it's flexible and fun, and the beauty of it is that I get to form relationships with folks from vastly different circumstances.
With the new job came along a completely separate possibility that I hadn't allowed myself to previously consider: the opportunity to become a mother. I've wanted to be one for some time, but never felt secure enough in my income, benefits, relationship, or job structure to be able to support it. And so here we are, able to be able to swing all of that (perhaps a little tightly, but nonetheless mostly comfortably). And the planning begins (while recognizing that so much of this transition can not be planned).
I read What to Expect Before You're Expecting. I watched "The Business of Being Born" and read the companion Your Best Birth. I'm reading Body, Soul, and Baby and countless mommy blogs and articles about healthy and natural pregnancy and birth. I track my cycle religiously, along with my BMT. Gave up caffeine and alcohol, picked up prenatal vitamins. Riding my bike more, paying a little more attention to the food I eat. And I'm not actually pregnant yet; in fact, we're not going to start trying in earnest for another 2 months.
All of this info is deeply personal and it all is to make a point: when we come to periods of great transition in our lives, how often do we stop to consider how these changes effect our spirit? In the whirlwind and the chaos of change, do we get swept away in the tide, shaking our heads months later, wondering how in the hell we got here? Or did we get the chance to check in, explore how these changes are making us feel; even the not-so-pretty emotions that hide deep inside?
In our culture, I don't think we do; at least not enough. In my example of becoming a mother, we don't always acknowledge (publicly) the transition a woman makes from the "maiden" to the "mother" and all of the shifts that come along with it. Yes, we have baby showers, and ooo and ahh over little baby clothes and booties... but those celebrations are all about the baby. The most the mother gets is some jokes about how she'll never sleep again or comments about how she'll want that epidural once the labor really starts. If she's lucky, some understanding friend or relative will throw in some bath salts and lotion with a note to remember to take care of herself, too.
A woman preparing for birth and the subsequent years as a mother is not always given a public or official space to consider the emotional, physical, and spiritual changes she endures. She may be so excited and caught up in the tide of delirium that she may not for a long time, if ever, really. Or she may feel so consumed by fear or anxiety that to even give attention to the feelings can seem overwhelming. And I suspect for many women, the reality is somewhere in between.
The Dine' people celebrate a series of ceremony called Blessingways, that celebrate the transitions in life. I can not speak to much about the actual ceremonies, because I am not Dine'. I know that the term "Blessingway" has been culturally appropriated by (mostly white, middle-to-upper class) non-Dine' women to describe rituals of blessing a woman transitioning to mother. I will not do that, but in ignorance, I assume most of these women are trying to place a name on something that doesn't exist in our culture; trying to make sense of this transition in a way that feels meaningful and right to them. (Note: The fact that it is done without realizing how offensive it can be doesn't make it any less offensive, and quite honestly, it almost makes it worse. Cultural appropriation in mother blessing has been covered in better, more eloquent ways than I can articulate, so I suggest to anyone interested that you simply Google "Blessingway cultural appropriation" and you'll see some great points.) But the coming together to make a space for the joys, fears, excitement, and even sadness of a transitioning woman is powerful.
When I was in college, I remember reading about some groups of women who celebrated the menarche of their daughters, the beginning of menopause in themselves. Together in community as women, they marked the biological, physical, and energetic change. Maybe many of us long for those communities, or a place where we are free to celebrate and mourn and heal before undertaking a new phase in our lives.
Reiki is universal life energy. As it flows, it carries with it the experience of all who came before, with their infinite wisdom; with their infinite love and guidance and support. In a Reiki session, you can allow yourself to feel that support and love, the healing light is always within you and amplified with a treatment. It's a beautiful way to mark transition in your life, or to add to celebration or ceremony. I look forward to marking your changes with you.
